I love being a Mummy (most of the time, public tantrums aside), but I also enjoy my other job – teaching (most of the time, government meddling aside).
I am a primary school teacher and my eldest is starting school in September (which I’m not freaking out about, honestly!) And I am finding that my two jobs are starting to overlap somewhat.
So here is a list of signs you might recognise if you’re a teacher-parent….
1. You look at your other half as if s/he’s set fire to the house when they write your child’s name IN CAPITAL LETTERS!
2. You shoot people a similar look when they spell things for your three year old with letter names not letter sounds. Are they mad?!
3. You actually understand your children’s homework when it asks them to use the ‘chunking’ method for division.
4. You feel ridiculous embarrassment when you forget ANYTHING – PE kit, school trip money, non-uniform day because you know how much you judge other parents for committing the same crimes.
5. Your phonetic alphabet consists not of alpha, Romeo and tango but of apple, robot and tower. Try not to use these on the phone to your car insurance company – they get very confused (not that I know this from personal experience…ahem)
6. You compare your own children to the children you teach (especially if they’re the same age). It’s bad, I know. But mostly reassuring 😉
7. You try not to bother your child’s teacher unless they’ve got a limb falling off or something because you just know that they do not have the time, at 8.55am, to hear how you had to administer Calpol at 3am but he’s not feeling too bad now so you’ve brought him to school but just to ring you if they need to.
8. You feel sorry for your child’s teacher, especially by the end of the Autumn term when you know that if they don’t break up for Christmas soon, they will surely die of exhaustion.
9. You count EVERYTHING. Stairs, toy cars, fish fingers. Then you mess about taking a fish finger away to see if they can subtract whilst your poor child just wants to eat their dinner.
10. Even though teaching seems blooming hard sometimes, you rejoice in the fact that you don’t have to pay for childcare in school holidays. Win!
11. You know that bear that takes it in turns to go home with the class? Never have you been more competitive than when filling in that bear’s diary.
12. You drink a lot of wine. Or gin.