Dear Husband: I’m Sorry

I’m sorry that some days you get through the door and I bombard you with words. With questions, with anecdotes, with any conversation I can possibly think of. Sometimes when I’m with two little people all day, one of whom has the conversation remit of ‘ga-ga-ba-ba-da-da’, I am desperate to speak to an adult about ‘adult things’. Not Thomas the Tank Engine.

I’m sorry that some days you get home and I don’t really speak at all. Sometimes when I’m with two little people all day (see conversation remit above), and I have spoken in great depth about whether Skye in Paw Patrol was really necessary in that emergency situation (“they didn’t really need Skye in the end Mummy did they? They just climbed down”), I don’t really want to chat anymore. I just want to stop talking and stop listening and just be in my own head for a bit.

I’m sorry that some days I just want to go straight to bed without a ‘cuddle’. Sometimes, after a whole day of being pawed at by two children, of being dribbled on, leapt on and clung to I just want to reclaim my body for a few hours before I get up the next day and it starts all over again.

I’m sorry that some days we go to bed and I don’t accept no for an answer. Sometimes, after a whole day of being pawed at by the kids, I just want you to touch me in a way which reminds me I am an attractive woman.

I’m sorry that some days you are stressed and I can’t understand because I feel happy and relaxed. Sometimes it is a huge success that I’ve made it through the day with a good nap for the Little One and no tantrums for the Big One.

I’m sorry that some days you come home happy and looking forward to seeing us and I am moody and fed up. Sometimes I have prayed for bedtime since 11am and the day has been tough.

I’m sorry that some days I am unpredictable. That you don’t know whether to hug me or leave me alone. Sometimes I don’t know what I want either. Usually though a gin and tonic will do 😉

I’m sorry that some days I am entirely predictable. That I’m already in my pyjamas by 4pm and that the kids are having popcorn chicken for dinner again. Sometimes I am too tired to be anything but routine.

I’m sorry that this must all make me such hard work. But there is one thing that is constant and unwavering no matter how I am behaving:

I always love you and I always appreciate you.

Even if my show of appreciation is shutting myself in the bathroom reading Game of Thrones with a cup of tea.


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  1. we all go through this. Life changes quite a bit after children doesn't it. Its still nice to hear once in a while though. I'll bet he appreciates this post quite a bit

  2. Oh this is lots of me on lots of days, luckily I think my hubbie gets it …I'm pretty sure yours will to 🙂 (and if not, I usually find a lengthy trip to the hairdressers on a Saturday, leaving Daddy in charge of Arthur usually acts as a good reminder of how exhausting it can be!) #fartglitter

  3. Love these kinds of posts. I'm sure your lovely hubby gets how knackering it is! I know mine does! Sometimes you need space and time to yourself! Alcohol does usually help
    Though xx #fartglitter

  4. This is so real and so touching. I've actually just read it to my hubby too as I could have so written this! (If only I had your way with words!) He thinks it's beautiful, and I'm sure your hubby must really appreciate the thought that you've put into it.
    Thanks so much for linking up with #FartGlitter x

  5. Oh boy I remember those days. It is so hard to be both wife and mother, it takes a lot out of you and you end up exhausted all of the time. I love this post, it's so honest.

  6. You're very sweet. I never apologise to my husband for any of those things… I figure if he doesn't like how I cope with life as a SAHM then he can take over and be a SAHD! #fortheloveofBLOG

  7. This is exactly how I feel every day, and I feel that my husband when he gets home from work suffers the brunt of it. It's so hard looking at children, that once they are in bed, you just want to collapse. I'm completely with you on the head space bit, yesterday I had to go out and do some gardening at 8.30pm just to have some time outside by myself. Being a Mum is great, but is is super hard work. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG this week, hope you come back next week. Claire x

  8. oh this is beautiful! We all feel it and it's scary how we know it but sometimes can't always communicate with our husbands about it. Really made me stop and think so thank you – funnily enough I wrote a post about the beautiful single women asking them to leave my husband alone as it's tough being a mummy and I may not always look my best or feel my best so I know exactly where you are coming from with this post #BigPinkLink

    • Becky H

      Lara, thank you for taking your time to read and leave a comment. Don’t worry too much about my ‘poor man’ – I make up for it in other ways 😉

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