It’s OK

Parenting is a tricky business. Full of wonder and joy and……doubt. But SCREW THE DOUBT. It has no place here.

It’s OK to feel guilty about conceiving easily when your friends are struggling. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.

It’s OK to have really struggled to conceive and still think FML a lot once the baby is here because CHILDREN ARE HARD FRICKING WORK. And it doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.

It’s OK to be ridiculously smitten by your children one minute and want to ship them off to Nanny’s the next. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It doesn’t mean you can’t stand to be near them.

It’s OK to want a large glass of gin once the kids are in bed because CHILDREN ARE HARD FRICKING WORK. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. And it doesn’t mean you’re an alcoholic.

It’s OK to sob uncontrollably when your 18 month old still wakes in the night and you are exhausted by the constant broken sleep. It’s OK to hold him close out of all consuming love but to be slightly resentful at the same time. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It doesn’t mean you’re depressed.

It’s OK to be annoyed at your partner because ‘they get to go to work everyday’ or because ‘they get to stay home with the kids everyday’. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It doesn’t mean you hate them. It doesn’t mean you want what they have.

It’s OK to mutter obscenities under your breath. It’s OK to not want to read The Gruffalo AGAIN for the seventh time that day. Its OK to want to remember who you are as…you. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It doesn’t mean you hate spending time with your children.

It’s OK to feel what you feel. Its OK to say what you feel. You are feeling what a billion others are feeling, or have felt, or will feel, at some point during their lives. Don’t be scared that you’ll sound ungrateful or depressed or hateful or like an alcoholic.

You might be some of these things. But keeping it to yourself will NEVER help – whether you are or you aren’t. And the people that want to listen are the people who’ll want to help. If they’re not listening, they’re not worth it.

Sometimes you just need a glass of gin, or a good nights sleep. And sometimes you need to say “THIS IS HARD” out loud and have others say “I TOTALLY AGREE,” just to feel like you’re not failing.

You’re not failing. You’re parenting. And if you care enough to say “AM I FAILING?”

Then you definitely aren’t.

 

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21 Comments

  1. For me the hardest part of parenting has been the constant changing and conflicting emotions. Most of the time I don't even know how I am feeling. But, as you say, It's OK!
    #bigpinklink

  2. So true! I have felt all these things. And I'm still a pretty good mom! Parenting is hard. Life with kids is hard. Have that glass of gin, or wine, share your stress with others, and take a few deep breaths. You can deal however you need to. So do it!
    ~Jess
    #FabFridayPost

  3. This is lovely. Thank you. Parenthood is full of conflicting and contradictory emotions. There are days when I love every second. There are other days when I cannot wait to get Cygnet to bed and I have a short fuse. It is okay, and you're right, questioning ourselves about whether we are failing is both normal and an indication that we are probably not failing. Thanks. Pen x #FabFridayPost

  4. What a lovely post. Parenting is a wild rollercoaster with highs and lows. Sleep deprivation definitely makes it all the more harder, so support from friends and family as well as a sympathetic ear are so essential. #FabFridayPost

  5. You are absolutely right, parenting is one hell of a rollercoaster, but it's OK to feel like you're on top of the world one minute, and like you're the worst mum ever the next. We're only human doing our very best.
    #FabFridayPost

  6. Ohhh, this totally spoke to me. Sometimes I don't want to complain to my husband because I don't want him to think that I want to go back to work, because I don't! So I usually DO keep it to myself or bitch to the moms at preschool when I'm dropping off the kids. (They hardly know me, but have yet to give me a judgmental look, thank God!) I'll be bookmarking this one to go back to when I'm having a bad mom day. Thank you! #FabFridayPost

  7. Love this post so much. You are spot on! It's hard work bringing up children and we should all be supporting each other not judging each others actions #fabfridaypost

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