I have something I need to tell you.
I’m not being conceited. I don’t think you’re perfect and I think there’s room for improvement.
But I’ve come to realise something.
I love you.
For a very long time I felt like I couldn’t love you. Like you had to be flawless to be worthy of love.
I saw your Mummy tummy and wobbly thighs as barriers to my love.
I heard you groan at the children or sigh because they wanted your attention and thought that your attitude, your very personality, was unlovable.
But I’ve recently realised that that simply isn’t true.
There are a lot of very special people in my life and I love them all dearly. Some so much that I would die for them.
Yet they are not flawless.
The Mr sighs at the children’s demands for attention sometimes. But I love him fiercely. I understand that he’s sighing because the kids have uttered his name fourteen times in the same sentence and he was woken up three times last night. So I cut him some slack. He is only human.
Talking of the kids and of loving people fiercely, had someone once told me I would give my life for a person who threw a fruit smoothie at me because there were bubbles in it, I would have been pretty sceptical. But he is only a toddler and he is learning that he wants to control his environment. He doesn’t possess the complex language needed to negotiate bubble removal from a smoothie (which is, FYI, impossible) because he is just not developmentally ready. So I give him a cuddle. He is only a tiny human.
I am so busy cutting everyone else some slack that I kinda forgot about you.
You are not as skinny as you could be or as patient as possible sometimes.
But you are only human. And you deserve to be loved. Not given a hard time because you haven’t conquered flaws and learning curves which I fully accept and quite literally embrace in others.
People have a hard time saying “I love myself” because it suggests something it really shouldn’t. It suggests a superficial arrogance.
When actually it should simply mean what it says.
I love you, flaws and all. Sometimes I don’t like you a whole lot and sometimes you make a lot of mistakes.
But I do love you. And from now on, whilst I can’t promise to put you first too frequently, I can definitely promise to be kinder to you. To cut you some slack.
You are only human.
Love Me x