20 Comments

  1. #twinklytuesday Great informative post, i outta write a post about something similar as ive had some bad experiences as a child. thanks for posting 🙂 xx

  2. kimberleyf1988

    Great post! With Christmas not too far away I feel this is very relevent with regards to taking children to see a Santa and forcing them to sit on his knee. It breaks my heart whenever I see photos of crying kids forced to sit on a stranger’s knee. #DreamTeam

  3. This is something I’ve also done with my boys… they’re 12 and nearly 10 now and love hugging their friends and people they’re comfortable with, but will happily say “no” or “not just now” if they’re not in the mood and I’m happy with that. It’s such an important thing to teach children. #DreamTeam

  4. I totally agree with you on this. The lines can be so blurry for a child to understand when we’re pushing them into contact that they don’t feel comfortable with. Just because we as adults know it’s just harmless Auntie Mabel and we don’t want to offend her? How can we expect them to instinctively know to act differently in less innocent situations. Very well said Becky. x

  5. Spot on. I hated the pressure as a child and felt very awkward when forced. There is no way I’ll do that to my little one when they arrive. Also for me this applies to dogs and cats (any pets really). They don’t have to play with them or be locked or bounced off their feet by them. It’s not right. #dreamteam

  6. Yes! I agree with this 100%. My little girl prefers not to be kissed, she is 2.5 and happily gives cuddles but for kisses, she says ” no kisses mummy” and I completely accept that. We wouldn’t put pressure on an older child or adult to embrace someone they didn’t want to, so why for a toddler? Brilliant post. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

  7. I’m so happy i came upon this post on #twinklytuesday. FYI, in the religion i practice (Islam) we have no fine lines of who you can and cannot hug/kiss for this very reason, as protection to ourselves. That is why we wear hijab (head covering) in front of all men, except our father/son/brother/maternal/paternal grandfather and uncles. This excludes “far off” uncles and even cousins, because when you blur the lines like that, it’s very easy to step over boundaries. I completely agree that you should allow your child to choose and be aware if they are not comfortable, not passing it up as defiance. We need to educate our children. It’s not the end of the world if they don’t want to hug someone. #twinklytuesday

  8. You’re so right. I think we want our children to be friendly to people we’re family and friends with but this doesn’t have to mean a kiss and a hug and their relationship hasn’t built up yet and neither has their trust with that person. #FabFridayPosts

  9. I always taught my kids it was OK not to hug or kiss family and friends goodbye; but would ask them if they could at least blow a kiss, wave or give a high 5. But ultimately it was always their choice.

  10. This is such an important message! I try to practice this with my kids. Also, I am appalled by how young kids are when they get phones nowadays. Cell phones were just becoming popular and “what they are now” when I was growing up. The only reason I even got one when I was 16 was because I was driving and really, it was supposed to be for emergencies. #fabfridaypost

  11. Such an important post and one that we often don’t think about – we just expect our kids to happily cuddle and kiss random strangers just because WE know who they are, but they have never met them before. And I imagine that big adults seem scary to little people anyway, never mind having to get physically close to them. I will think more now before I force my kids to kiss family etc just because it seems the polite thing to do. #FabFridayPost

  12. Brilliant. We have to let our kids trust their gut too! I remember telling certain people that didn’t feel right that i thought I was catching a cold. Polite vs. what feels right – seems easy to me. Great post. #FabFridayPost xoxo

  13. Love this, it’s so true. When it comes to grandparents and close family I will ask my children if they have a hug or kiss for them when we are leaving but never force them and if they so no that’s fine. My daughter loves to give hugs and kisses to those she’s comfortable with, my son on the other hand stopped wanting to give kisses at age 2 and that’s fine. I always encourage them to be polite and say goodbye and thank people for having them if we’ve been at their house etc but that’s it. There were a few family members who thought it was funny to try and chase him for a kiss and I had to step in and tell them no. I know they didn’t mean anything by it but it made my son uncomfortable and it’s our job to show them it’s not ok for people to make them feel that way, no matter who they are x
    #FabFridayPost

  14. I absolutely agree with you. I think it is important to teach them to say it is okay to say ‘no’, especially with distance relatives. E&E did find it hard when we went back to visit our family in Thailand. They would only let people they are familiar with picks them up and cuddle them. #FabFridayPost

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