The Last of the Firsts and the First of the Lasts

Bit of a tongue twister of a title I know, but I’ve realised recently that life seems to be running along so quickly.

My eldest is now five – half a decade old! It just seems like such a long time and yet I can remember him as a tiny baby so vividly. It feels like my youngest has been two forever, and yet now, as he gets closer to his third birthday, I’m already thinking about him starting school and all the milestones he has to come.

And we’re not planning on having any more children, so I’ve already experienced the last of so many firsts.

The last first steps.

The last first words.

The last first day at nursery.

The last first Christmas.

But as life seems to travel at a million miles an hour, I’ve realised that I’m going to start experiencing the first of the lasts.

The first last time I’m required to read a bedtime story (I’m hoping I’ve got years for this one but I know it’s going to happen eventually).

The first last time someone calls me ‘Mummy’ and replaces it with ‘Mum’.

The first last time of believing in Santa at Christmas.

The first last time doing the school run.

These things are going to happen. With each ‘last time’ that I read a bedtime story, or one of them calls me Mummy, or I do the school run, I am slowly saying goodbye to my babies.

And I don’t know if I like it.

You see I’ve realised that there’s this beautiful little window in between the last of the firsts and the first of the lasts. A period of time so precious because, at that point, nothing is limited. Everything is ‘open’ because childhood has yet to close the door on anything. Right then, in that moment, your children’s childhood is infinite.

Childhood has already closed some doors for me when it comes to both of my children. We’ve done the last first day at nursery and we’ve done the first last day at nursery. It only seems a matter of time until it’s the last last day at nursery and then you will probably find me sobbing in the corner, crying to my husband in disbelief at “how can our baby be starting school?!”

But at the minute we are still, mostly, in a totally magical stage.

We’ve had our last first Christmas and we’re still yet to experience the first last Christmas believing in Santa. In the build up to Christmas, both my children believe that anything is possible (which, judging by their Christmas lists, is possibly not ideal). Because childhood has opened the door on Christmas and Santa and magical flying reindeer for both children. And it is yet to close it for either of them.

So time might be flying and I might have experienced the last of so many first milestones.

But, for now, maybe I should stop and appreciate the magical moments that only the innocence of childhood can offer.

I know there will be lots more rewarding stages to come and that this, right now, is only one of them.

But I am still yet to experience the first of any real ‘last’ milestones.  And at this minute, I feel like we’re right in the middle of a ‘The World is Your Oyster’ stage.

So I’m going to make the most of it.

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